Me in 2020 vs 2025: How I Transformed My Life

This is my true, vulnerable story of how different my life looked just a few years ago from how it does today.

I lived with shame, stress, and insecurity for years, and couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t move forward in life. I felt stuck and trapped.

Now? I have the freedom that I was always craving and feel more at peace than ever.

I’m going to describe to you:

• What my life looked like in 2020 (work, friends, romance, money, mental health)
• How those things are looking now, in 2025

The difference for all categories is almost unrecognizable. My former self would be in disbelief about where I am now compared to how I lived before

So, let’s jump in – I’ll show you the transformation.

My Life in 2020: Insecurity, Loneliness, Debt and Burnout

Romantic relationships

In 2020, I was engaged to be married to a man I’d been dating for over a year (but had known him for 5 years.) It was hard to let myself be completely happy because I worried that maybe he didn’t really like me that much after all. I felt jealous of some of his exes, and feared that maybe he was only with me because I was his only option.

I went to therapy often to talk about this. I’d been single for many years, with few strong attachments – and now that I was finally with a great man with a future in front of me, I felt so insecure.

Friendships

I had a number of friends, but I felt insecure around quite a few of them. I didn’t have many people in my life that I felt I could really count on.

I had three bridesmaids for my wedding, which I was so grateful for (they are wonderful people who I’m glad to still have in my life!) At the time though, I felt guilty the effort they were putting out for my wedding; I felt guilty that they were driving to it, and I tried to be as little of a burden as possible on them.

It was also hard to make new friends, because I was very hesitant to let people see the real me. I was also very nervous to reach out or take initiative with anyone. If they didn’t ‘make a move’ then I would never be the first one. I often assumed people didn’t like me, unless they proved that they did.

I had other people I considered friends around this time that did exactly what I feared people would – judged me, and made snide comments that put me down. I felt very inferior to them, but I hung out with them because at least being there meant they were including me, which was something.

Work

I had been working as a teacher for 5 years by this point, but I was heavily struggling with burnout. At the end of each day, I felt like I was running on empty. It felt like I had no energy left by the time I left work.

Sometimes all I could muster was to go home and just be on autopilot, preparing dinner and trying to pretend to have energy for my daughter when really all I felt like doing was lying down and staring at the ceiling.

I felt like I couldn’t process another single thought into my head; like one more issue to deal with would tip me over the edge. I did think about quitting teaching but had no idea how I’d ever do it.

I dabbled in some side hustles, but none of them really panned out. I wasn’t confident enough to put myself out there. I also heavily undercharged for any services I offered (teaching English online for example), because charging more just wasn’t an option I could fathom. I felt that if I charged more, I’d have zero clients.

Money

Even though I was making decent money as a teacher in Canada, I always seemed to be in debt. I assumed it was because I’d been a single mom with a house for so long- of course things would be tight. But no matter how much I budgeted, the debt just seemed to grow and grow.

By 2020, the credit card debt alone I had amounted to $30,000 (this didn’t include my mortgage.) I realized it was because I had probably spent money on things I shouldn’t have, like trips with my young daughter.

But what was the point of all the suffering I’d been doing (working a stressful job) if I couldn’t do something enjoyable once in a while? I felt like there was no wiggle room for the things in life that make life worth living. My income was enough to cover bills I needed to live close to the school I worked at, but nothing else.

I had no idea how to get ahead in life, without simply covering the things I needed to survive but nothing extra.

Mental Health

I came down with a terrible case of insomnia in 2019, after some life events (work, romantic and family-related) all at once tipped me over the edge.

I spent six months taking habit-forming sleeping pills, which you’re only supposed to take for a maximum of 2 weeks. But I couldn’t help myself; I didn’t feel I could sleep without them.

Every time I tried, my fear proved true. Just the thought of going to bed gave me anxiety, because I worried about lying in bed awake all night, as I’d done many times. I believed that I might face a lifetime of sleeping pills, which I didn’t want – but I also didn’t know what else to do about it.

To sum it up: In 2020, and for many years before and even after that, I carried around a lot of shame. I didn’t accept myself or practice self-love the way I realize now that I should have been. I wish I could have been kinder to myself, because I know that the world would have mirrored back more kindness to me in the process. But I didn’t have the insight to realize that then.

My Life in 2025: Freedom, Wealth, Fulfillment

Romantic relationships

I’m still with my husband Eric, we’ve been married for 5 years. My insecurities have not gone away 100% but I am so much more at peace. I know he loves me, and that our bond is solid. I also know that I have a lot to offer, and there’s no reason to doubt why he’d want to be with someone like me. I’ve finally allowed myself to be happy.

Friendships

Some of my friendships have gotten deeper over the last five years, and others I have moved on from.

Some of the people that I once felt hopeful would include me and accept me are now people that I can’t stand to be around. I actually feel sad now when I think of the time I spent with people who did not make me feel good, supported, or even liked.

I’ve realized now that it’s safe to say how I really feel, and that true friends will accept me. In return, I’ve met more acceptance in the people I choose to spend time with.

Work

It feels like a dream come true to do what I do for a living. I’m a full-time travel blogger, and I make over six figures just on passive income. And it’s for doing something that is easy for me! This is what the child in me would have wanted to do – write, be creative, and have all the freedom in the world.

Money

I never, ever thought I’d be a rich woman – but now, I am, by many definitions. I am debt-free, and I have more money coming in now than I did as a teacher. I can’t believe how much money I have coming in for something that is so easy for me to do.

My husband and I have planned our investments well. We primarily live off interest, and we budget and try to be smart about the money coming in. We can afford extra-curriculars for our kids, and a Waldorf school for my youngest. We know when to splurge and when to save. I feel like I can afford most of the things I really want, and live my life true to how I want to.

Mental Health

My anxiety has not gone away, but I’ve learned to accept it. I recognize that I am not my anxiety; it’s simply an emotion that visits from time to time. I allow myself to feel it, and process it. I journal, exercise and I spend lots of time outdoors.

My job as an online entrepreneur allows for the freedom to time to practice this self care whenever I need to. I still have sleep issues from time to time, but I have recovered from chronic insomnia, and I sleep amazing most nights without any intervention!

What I Credit for How I Changed My Life

I realized how much I was struggling, and I tried many, many things over the years:

• Doctors
• Naturopathic doctors
• Vitamins and supplements
• Journaling
• Therapists
• Drugs (anti-depressants, sleep aids)
• Lots of self-help books

The most effective of the above were:

• self-help books
• journaling
• therapy

In that order! And I’m going to touch a little bit on each of them.

Self-help books

I am a big reader, and I read many, many books that factored into how my life started to transform. These books re-parented me, and helped change my worldview. It wasn’t me that needed to change, but my outlook.

See my recommendations for self-improvement books here – otherwise, here are some other books I recommend in specific categories:

• Self-love and acceptance books -These were a big one for me. A big part of my issues in life was tied to how I treated myself.
• Classroom management books – I didn’t want to be in the classroom forever, but I am glad I invested the time in reading some classroom management books because it helped me look at the behaviours differently and improve the learning environment for myself and for my students
• Money-mindset books – Game changer! I never realized that my relationship with money was what kept me in the same cycle of ‘just surviving’ for so long. My reasons for sticking with a job that wasn’t right for me, and undercharging for services, were tied to how much I felt I was worth, and how happy I was allowed to be.
• Career change books – some of these career change books were crucial, especially The Big Leap by Gay Hendrix, which taught me about the “upper limit problem” which we all have; and about finding my Zone of Excellence vs Zone of Genius. Teaching was my Zone of Excellence (I was good at it, but it took a lot of energy from me and I didn’t feel it aligned with what I really enjoyed doing.) This book helped guide me towards finding my Zone of Genius – what I’m doing now.

Therapy

It’s very important to find the right therapist, but its also important to do therapy in a way that really is going to make the ground-breaking change you’re looking for.

I sat down with many therapists over the years. Some of them, I drove away after the session without feeling like it had been helpful. I just thought, ‘What was the point of that?’

I also felt scared to touch on the deeper issues with therapists, and often spent time going over surface-level problems with them, which weren’t really getting me anywhere.

The right course of action was to tackle the deeper issues that I really had (self-help books helped me acknowledge those) and journaling helped me see how I really felt. Going to therapy after those things was the most helpful, to talk over and process the realizations I’d come to, how they made me feel, and how those feelings impacted my life.

I feel so comfortable talking to the therapist I have now. I feel so seen, so validated and understood. In hindsight, it wasn’t just that I didn’t bring up the right topics with former therapists- I also didn’t feel 100% comfortable with them.

Fit with a therapist is very subjective. You need to feel comfortable talking with them about anything, and (for me at least) feeling validated was such a breath of fresh air.

Final Thoughts on How I Changed My Life

It is difficult to share about how much I used to struggle and how I treated myself, but I hope that it serves as an inspiration to whoever you are reading this, because you can make the change you want. You do deserve better, and I want you to treat yourself accordingly.