What You Need to Know about Dating a Teacher

Thinking of dating a teacher? Teachers are creative, often passionate and hardworking individuals, who have certain lifestyle differences associated with their job that may be useful to know if you’re planning to date one.

It’s important to remember that each person is an individual. Some teachers are able to ‘leave work at at work’, and others have trouble ever turning their ‘teacher brain’ off, and struggle with work-life balance.

As someone who was a teacher for 10 years, I don’t think that dating a teacher is necessarily different from dating other professionals. Ultimately, your connection will be based on personality and shared values.

However, I can shed some insight into a teacher’s lifestyle, and what would be helpful for you to know before you date a teacher.

So, let’s jump in!

What you Need to Know About a Teacher’s Lifestyle

1. The dismissal bell doesn’t mean ‘end of the work day’

Assume that their ‘work day’ ends anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours after the school dismissal bell.

How long they stay at work after the students leave depends on them, and their schedule and may vary by day.

Even if they have nothing to do, it’s very rare that they leave school as soon as the bell rings. I only ever did that if I had an appointment to get to.

So, when planning dates (or what to know for longterm, if things work out) add 1-2 hours to the end of the dismissal bell at their school, and that’s what time you can probably expect them to be free.

2. They may take work home, but the amount varies

As a teacher, I’ve run into two types of people:

a) those that assume I take work home every night
b) others that are surprised that I would need to take any work home at all.

In reality, how much work your teacher girlfriend or boyfriend brings home depends on a few things:

• How long they’ve been teaching that grade/subject -Generally, it becomes less work over time if you teach the same thing over, but a lot of work if its the first time they’ve taught it
• Their workload for that particular year – If they have more students with individual education plans, are teaching a split grade, or have more students, then its generally more work
• Their own personal work habits, and relationship with work. Some people just tend to work more than eer.

I was a single parent teacher, and avoided bringing work home, and I rarely did – outside of report card season. However, don’t be alarmed if the teacher you’re dating has ‘work’ to do on evenings or weekends outside of school.

Pro Tip: Ask the teacher you’re dating how often they bring work home, and the answer might surprise you.

3. Our vacation time is only limited to the school break

This will vary by region, and where they work – but generally, it generally very hard for teachers to get time off outside of the school holidays.

This is one of the biggest cons to teaching, in my opinion. Even if they’re able to request time off, it likely wouldn’t be paid time off, so there’s also the question about whether they’d be able to afford it.

This is an important thing to keep in mind, especially if you envision a future with this person. If you want to travel or go on vacations, you have to be ok with only travelling during school holidays.

4. Don’t expect them to text back right away

Some people can answer their phone or text back at any time throughout the day – teaching is not one of those jobs.

Having worked as a teacher for nearly a decade, I have many teacher friends – and none of them text back right away. Of course, everyone’s texting habits are different.

If you text during the day, don’t be alarmed if you don’t hear from them until later that evening. They’re not ignoring you; their work day is simply too chaotic to be checking their phone constantly – trust me on that one.

5. Taking a day off is a lot of work

The one unique aspect of a teacher’s lifestyle that doesn’t apply as much to other professions – is that when a teacher needs a day off (for any reason) is that it will mean at least 1 hour + of work to do to prepare for that day.

So, let’s say you decide to take an extended long weekend, and they take Monday off? For you, it may be as simple as calling in sick or booking the day off.

For a teacher, they have a lot of prep work to prepare for that day. I’m not saying this to guilt you, but just to be aware.

6. They may need downtime after work

A teacher’s job can be very emotionally taxing, and demanding – especially in this day in age.

If you’re dating or getting serious with a teacher, just know that they may sometimes be bringing a lot of emotional baggage home from that school day.

Maybe a parent yelled at them, or they were sworn at – there are a lot of stressors that come up. It isn’t an easy job. There were some years as a teacher that I came home crying.

When dating a teacher, its important to appreciate the fact that it can be a very stressful job that takes a lot out of them.

7. They don’t all just ‘take it easy’ all summer

When I was going on dates as a teacher, I had one guy ask me, “So, what do you do all summer?”

Hopefully, the teacher you’re going out with takes sometimes for themselves during the summer – they need it.

The reality is though, most teachers spend more time on their jobs during the summer than you might think. They are sometimes upgrading their qualifications, taking extra courses, or planning the following school year.

Pro Tip: Simply ask them, “How do you spend your summers?” to get an idea of what they do outside of work

Things to Avoid Doing When Dating a Teacher

The worst thing you can do when dating a teacher.

❌ Asking “Which school do you work at?”

In the case of online dating – please don’t expect teachers to share which school they work at if they haven’t met you yet. Of course, if you’ve met them in person and have gone on a date or two, this is a perfectly valid question.

I did online dating for a while as a teacher. Whenever someone asked what I did for a living and I told them, the next question was always “which school?”

Not only is this a personal question, but it may turn out your nieces and nephews go to that school. While this may be helpful to know sooner than later – as a fe

Instead, ask: “What subjects/grade do you teach? How long have you been teaching X, and do you enjoy it?”

❌ Don’t show up to their work unannounced

Never make surprise visits to a teacher’s place of work (the school,) unless you plan to simply just wait in the parking lot.

Schools protect the most vulnerable members of society (children) so people aren’t allowed to just wait in the lobby unless they have a good reason to be there.

❌ Don’t bash teachers

The thing about teachers, is that almost everyone has had teachers in the past – good ones and bad ones.

As teachers, we’re used to hearing some public criticism. But no teacher wants to date someone who doesn’t respect their work, and value how hard they worked to get there and all their efforts to do it well.

So, even if you had some bad teachers in the past – don’t paid them with the same brush; we’re not all like that.

Tips for Dating a Teacher

We’ve gone over things to keep in mind, and things to avoid. Here are some ways that you can win the heart of a teacher that you’re dating or getting know

1. Expect to hear stories about school

If you’re dating a teacher, I can almost guarantee you that you’re going to hear lots of stories about school. Some interesting, some sad or disturbing, and other times – just downright hilarious.

I can almost guarantee that if you’re dating a teacher, you will gain an insight into how our school system currently functions and you should be prepared to hear those stories – good and bad.

Pro Tip: Teachers often do have a good sense of humour and its important that you have one too.

2. Wish them a happy Teacher Appreciation Day

Teacher Appreciation Day falls in early May in the US, and is a recent celebration. Different countries may celebrate on different days.

To be honest, it isn’t a very big deal and we don’t expect anything for it. (I usually don’t even know about it until the day it arrives.) Sometimes a parent leaves donuts in the staff room, or the principal will send an email.

However, my now-husband surprised me with a simple bouquet of flowers on Teacher Appreciation Day when we were in the early days of dating. It was a really nice, appreciated gesture.

3. Offer to help with any menial tasks

Teachers often have a lot of busy work. As a one person show, there isn’t usually a lot you can help with – but there may be some busy work that you could help them get out of the way.

It could be carrying stuff to or from the car, or helping print materials, or file and organize stuff.

This benefits you too – the sooner their work is done, the more time you guys have to spend together.

4. Be apart of their support system (when things get serious enough)

If things get serious between you and the teacher you’re dating, then you will be an important source of support for them. Respect their work, and know that they put a lot into it.

Be there if they need to bounce ideas off someone, or to vent to when things are tough. There’s nothing like a good listening ear to a teacher at the end of one of those long days.

Pro Tip: See my recommendations for self care gifts for teachers to consider throughout the year

Important Final Thoughts on Dating a Teacher

I hope that I’ve shined a bit of light on what dating a teacher means, in terms of the lifestyle you’re getting into, things to avoid, and tips for success.

It’s important to remember that the person you’re dating is not just a “teacher” but an individual that you are getting to know. Ask about their work, but be sure to get to know who they are outside of that too.